


Lost Boy

by thatsformetoknow



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: #clickbait, Angst, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, basically college life is shit, but they love each other - Freeform, for all your angsty needs, is it enough?, our boys are falling apart, read and find out, they cant put each other back together, they're destroying each other, this is just angst, uh yeah, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 10:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12363945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsformetoknow/pseuds/thatsformetoknow
Summary: Because maybe he was foolish, but Kei was Kei, and Tadashi would always forgive him. Tadashi would always be there by his side completely wonder struck by this boy who constantly swept him off of his feet.And so Tadashi would fall to pieces, just as he did every time, just as he always did.And Kei would try to fill that hole in his life with some random boy he’d picked up off of the street and a puff of a cigarette, another phone call from home sent to voice mail, another essay missed and another heart broken.And Tadashi would fall to pieces all over again, desperate to save him somehow, somehow make him better but he knew that he couldn’t.





	Lost Boy

As it turned out, life after high school wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Tadashi sat on his bed, legs curled up to his chest and eyes screwed tightly shut. They’d been looking forward to it for as long as Tadashi could remember; he and Kei had gotten into the same university and moved in together and it was… Well, it was fine, he supposed, when he wasn’t falling completely to pieces.

His stomach churned as he heard the bed next door squeaking and he tangled his fists into his hair, trying to pull it over his ears to muffle the sound.

Had he been foolish to assume that things for himself and Kei would just slide into place? Probably. Was that hope unjustified? Absolutely not.

How could it have been when Kei looked at him the way that he did, when Kei treated him like he was the most wonderful human on the planet, when really it should have been Tadashi treating Kei like that; because he was. Is. Was.

When they’d been younger they’d talked about one day moving in together, and how absolutely wonderful it would be. They’d be adults, making something out of their lives and maybe they’d get a cat and they’d be happy.

Tadashi didn’t feel like an adult, he felt like a little boy, a very long way from home and all alone in this cold apartment though clearly he was not. He didn’t try to drown out the sounds any more – he needed to hear them, needed to feel them rip him apart.

Because maybe he was foolish, but Kei was Kei, and Tadashi would always forgive him. Tadashi would always be there by his side completely wonder struck by this boy who constantly swept him off of his feet. 

And so Tadashi would fall to pieces, just as he did every time, just as he always did.

And Kei would try to fill that hole in his life with some random boy he’d picked up off of the street and a puff of a cigarette, another phone call from home sent to voice mail, another essay missed and another heart broken.

And Tadashi would fall to pieces all over again, desperate to save him somehow, somehow make him better but he knew that he couldn’t. 

It wasn’t long before he heard the front door close and he glanced at the clock; it was five in the morning and Tadashi had a class at nine.

He heard Kei get up and use the shower for around an hour, and Tadashi just sat, numb, as Kei washed away remnants of a stranger.

Then he could smell a mixture of cigarette smoke and toast burning. And then there was the crass cursing from Kei and a slam onto the kitchen side of his fists.

And then Tadashi’s bedroom door opened and Kei was there with a smile and wet hair and a plate of slightly burnt toast in his hand.

‘Morning.’ Tadashi said quietly and Kei came into his room, closing the door behind him. He clambered into bed next to Tadashi and handed him the plate.

‘Sorry. I didn’t meant to keep you awake.’ Kei said, at least looking a little remorseful.

‘’s okay.’ Tadashi replied with a shrug, feeling empty inside as he took a bite of the toast. ‘It’s not like I sleep anyway.’ He said with a dry laugh.

‘I’m sorry.’ Kei said after a few moments and Tadashi knew what he was referring to. 

‘I know. You have no need for apologies, Kei.’ Tadashi said, it wasn’t like they were actually together, after all.

‘It feels like I do.’ He said and then the plate was taken from him and shoved on his cluttered bedside table and Kei was kissing him and kissing him and kissing him.

And Tadashi let him, he just let him.

‘Kei...’ Tadashi said with a pained expression. 

‘I’m sorry.’ Kei said and they sat in silence for a few minutes.

‘You don’t love me.’ Tadashi said, breaking the silence.

‘I do.’ Kei said, turning to him and brushing his hair tenderly out of his face and Tadashi found himself smiling.

‘I know, Kei, I know.’ He said gently. ‘Not enough though, not enough.’

Kei looked away. ‘I love you more than anyone I know, Tadashi, more than anyone I’ve ever known.’ He said and Tadashi closed his eyes.

‘I know. Me too. But it’s not the same. We’re not good for each other, not like that.’

‘I hear you crying sometimes.’ Kei said after a few moments and Tadashi laughed emptily.

‘Yeah, probably.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Okay.’ Tadashi said, not having the energy to argue, but knowing that Kei would do nothing to change.

‘Can I kiss you again?’ Kei asked and Tadashi didn’t hesitate.

‘Please.’ He said, and Kei’s lips felt cold on his, felt like the end of something, and maybe Tadashi could stop falling apart, and maybe eventually Kei would learnt to help himself because Tadashi couldn’t keep picking up the pieces, not any more.

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is, inspired by lost boy by our boy troye  
> uhh i guess i was like lol this could be tsukki yama kei is accidentally leading yams on and this happened yo
> 
> comments are greatly appreciated


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